


Home (it’s a feeling, not a place)

by Evening12



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Community: femmefest, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Femslash, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-20 05:16:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14888342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evening12/pseuds/Evening12
Summary: The war has just ended, and Ginny is struggling to make sense of it all. She leaves the Burrow and finds herself at the Lovegood’s home.





	Home (it’s a feeling, not a place)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [leontina (Leontina)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leontina/gifts).



> I’m so happy to be participating in Femmefest for my 4th time! All the thanks to fairies-and-feathers and Digthewriter who beta’d my story, and gave valuable pointers. All remaining mistakes are my own. Leontinabowie, I had first thought to write something that was much more lighthearted but this was Ginny’s story and it ended up being a story or grief but also of one support, hand-holding and happy endings. This is only my 2nd time writing Luna and it was fun trying to capture her character once more. I hope you enjoy it.

Remus. Tonks. Colin, and finally Fred. 

Her body couldn't take anymore of it. She couldn’t take anymore ‘I’m sorry’, or ‘He died a hero’. She couldn’t take anymore of Percy trying to pretend he was fine. He tried to keep a stiff upper lip while talking to Aunt Muriel about his job at The Ministry, but every once in a while his voice quivered. 

She couldn’t take any of it, and so Ginny left. She left the reception held at the Burrow. She ran past Angelina who was talking to Hermione. She ran up the hill and away from the Burrow. Ginny only stopped running when she reached the boot shaped home of the Lovegoods. 

She let out a shaky breath as she sat down on the second stone step that led to the yellow door. Ginny pulled at the elastics and pins holding her hair up until her plaits came undone. When she had thought of nothing else but to go back to the Burrow at the beginning of the school year, Luna had reminded her that going back would do no good. Her parents had been focused on Order business and she would have muddled up everything. Luna had been the one to keep her grounded when she worried about Ron’s safety. Luna had made Hogwarts bearable. 

Ginny hadn’t seen much of Luna since Christmas. There’d been so much going on. The War broke. Luna had been kidnapped. There had been funerals, too many funerals. Maybe Luna could make this bearable too. Hopefully. 

The sobs were stifled at first as Ginny attempted to hide her grief, then overcome by her emotions, she broke down entirely. All her defences were washed away by tears. Ginny pressed on her chest as if trying to steady her heart. 

Through teary eyes, she watched the sun fall behind the horizon, painting the sky shades of red and pink. Silhouettes of birds flew across the colourful sky. 

“There you are.” Luna skipped up the three steps of the stairs, and leaned against the railing of the stairs. Her black robe contrasted sharply against the cerulean blue railing. 

“Hi.” Ginny rubbed her face, trying to erase the streaks of tears. “Welcome home.” 

Luna hoisted herself and sat on the railing. Her feet dangled on top of a bed of flowers. “You’re not home though.” Luna kicked off her shoes. One of them almost fell on a pink tulip. “I looked for you after the ceremony. Even had a strawberry tart saved.” 

Ginny looked up at Luna. The sun was gone now, along with the red and pink sky. “Strawberries are my favourite.” 

“I know. I don’t have it anymore. One of your garden gnomes took it as I was getting ready to Disapparate,” said Luna. 

“Thanks anyway.” Ginny stretched her legs, the heels of her shoes digging into the earth. 

Luna tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m thinking loads of people have asked you this. And you’ve answered with some form of ‘I’m okay’. I did that a lot after Mum. But how are you, Ginny?” 

“I’m dealing with it. I needed...I just needed to be away. You know? Next thing I knew —” Ginny waved her hand towards the stairs. “— I was sitting here.” 

Luna hopped off the railing. “Come.” She extended her hand to Ginny. “Stairs are no place to sleep.” 

Ginny took Luna’s hand. She had painted her nails Gryffindor red. Fred would have liked that. 

The silence of the Lovegood’s home soothed Ginny. After all the bustle of the last few days, Ginny welcomed the silence. Her home was always busy, always a few moments away from a prank. Pranks wouldn’t be the same without Fred. Nothing would the same, really. 

“Dad.” Luna grabbed her wand from her back pocket, and with a whispered Aguamenti she watered the plants hanging from the ceiling. “He’s been away a lot. At The Quibbler most days...and nights. 

Ginny squeezed Luna’s hand as they walked up to the second storey. 

“There’s a spare bed in Dad’s study. Blankets are already there, and my Ravenclaw shirt is there too. Should be more comfortable than your dress robe.” Luna smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “After...after the Malfoys...my bedroom doesn’t feel the same. So I sleep there sometimes.” Luna nudged the door of her Dad’s study with her foot. “Here you are.” 

Ginny rubbed her thumb on the palm of Luna’s hand before stepping into the study and letting go of Luna’s hand. “Thanks Luna.” 

“Of course.” The whistle of the midnight train passing through Ottery St Catchpole pierced the silence of the Lovegood’s home. “Well, goodnight Ginny.” 

Ginny took a deep breath and stepped out of her dress robe before slipping on Luna’s oversized Ravenclaw shirt. Across from the bed, there was a desk covered with quills, spilled ink pots and scrolls of parchment. The front pages of some recent Quibbler articles were pinned to the wall. 

The tension she’d been keeping in her body slowly disappeared as Ginny relaxed against the cool bed sheets. She closed her eyes hoping to find some peace after the long day, but peace was nowhere to be found. All the memories of the recent days rushed back once Ginny closed her eyes. Her dad holding her mum’s hand as they stood in front of Fred’s gave. Her mum busying herself with pots and pans hoping no one would hear her cry. No amount of tossing and turning could make her forget the look of George’s eyes after he delivered his eulogy. She couldn’t stay alone with her thoughts. 

The stairs creaked at each one of Ginny’s steps. She expected to be the only one awake at this time of the night but there was Luna sitting on the sofa with her legs tucked under her body. A table lamp in danger of falling to the floor illuminated the room.

“Luna?” 

“Oh.” Luna shifted to face Ginny. “I couldn’t sleep, you know.” 

“Yeah.” Ginny sat beside Luna. Her thigh brushed against Luna’s foot. 

“How —” Luna took a deep breath. “— How are you?” Luna’s hair was in loose plaits; stray hair brushed against her forehead. 

“I’m fine.” Ginny toyed with a thread on the sleeve of her shirt. “I’m fine.”

“Really? You can’t fool me that easily. How are you, Ginny Weasley?” Luna smiled a half smile. 

“I’m fine. I’m...I’m not fine.” Ginny ran her fingers through her hair. “I just want it to be done. I want to be done grieving. But how selfish is that?” Ginny clenched her right hand and pressed it against her mouth. “Fred is dead. And I want to forget all about it. Fred is dead.” 

Luna pulled Ginny against her. “I know. And it’s not selfish. It’s not selfish to want the pain to end.”

Ginny cried into Luna’s chest, hands clutching at her shirt. Luna held her in silence, rocking her slowly. The pain came in waves, minutes of crying broken apart by short pauses of sniffling and Luna’s soft spoken words. 

Ginny didn’t think she’d ever cried so much in a single night. She felt a bit lighter for it. The sun blinded her as she stretched out on the sofa. Luna was nowhere to be found, but a plate of buttered crumpets was left on the worn down table by the sofa. Ginny ate a few bites of the crumpets before getting dressed. Luna’s clothes were a bit too long for Ginny but they would do. She was used to her brothers’ handed-down clothes, after all. 

Ginny ducked under the hanging plants, as she made her way outside. With no Luna in sight, Ginny needed to distract herself from her thoughts. She didn’t want to spend another day crying. She mounted the abandoned Cleansweep broom she found by the garden shed and kicked off the ground. 

She flew as high as she could, high up past the trees. So high, she could see the Burrow from a distance. The sun was everywhere, and it gave life to everything it touched. The trees even looked greener, fuller. Ginny gripped her broom tightly and swerved around a tree. There was nothing better than the feeling of the wind rushing past her. 

Ginny spotted Luna sitting on a nearby tree branch. “Hi.” Ginny slid off of her broom and onto the tree branch before tucking the broom in between branches.

Luna held out a bowl of strawberries. “I found some in the bushes behind the house. Already washed them.” Luna’s hair whipped around her face as the wind picked up. 

“Thanks.” Ginny enjoyed the mix of the tart and sweet taste of the strawberries. “Fred. Fred would spend afternoon after afternoon looking for strawberries with me.” 

Luna and Ginny sat up in the tree, eating strawberries while watching the clouds pass by. They tried and failed to find their patronuses in the sky. Luna, however, found a niffler. 

The empty bowl of strawberries lay forgotten against the tree trunk as Ginny took Luna’s hand in her own. Luna’s hand was always warm to the touch. Everything about Luna was warm. 

Luna squeezed Ginny hand and smiled. “Did you know? You have some dirt on your nose.” 

“Probably from dusting off your broom.” Ginny laughed. It felt nice to laugh. 

“That broom doesn’t have much company, I’m afraid. But maybe. Maybe you could come over another time. I like watching you fly.” Luna blushed. 

They spent the rest of the day wandering through the forest near Luna’s house. Sometimes they talked, sometimes they didn’t. Ginny’s hand almost, always found Luna’s. They only parted once the moon replaced the sun. Ginny found herself once again, in the study and alone. 

With only starlight and waxing moon, the blackness was almost complete but Ginny still saw the jets of red sparks, and the glow of green lights that illuminated Hogwarts a few weeks ago. Quibbler articles talking about the Battle of Hogwarts faced her as she lay in bed trying to forget. Ginny’s breath caught itself in her throat as she remembered Bellatrix’s wand. A curved wand held to her face. And her Mum who stepped in to protect her, ready to take on any curse. She couldn't forget. 

Ginny slipped out of bed, her feet touching the rough wooden floor. This time she isn’t surprised to find Luna cradling a cup of tea while sitting on the sofa. 

“It’s been two days.” Luna blew softly on her cup of tea. “You should let someone know you’re here. They’ll be worried. I’d be worried if I lost you.” 

Ginny sat on the armrest of the sofa before grabbing a nearby throw pillow and pulling it against her chest.

“How are you tonight, Ginny?” Luna tucked her legs under herself before taking a sip of her tea. 

“I’m...I’m...I’m angry. I looked at all of the adults at Colin’s’ funeral —” Ginny took a deep breath, tightly squeezing the throw pillow“ — and at Fred’s funeral, and a part of me was so angry at them. We were children. Why did we have to fight? Why did we have to die?” 

“I don’t know why we had to die. But we did. And now we are left to pick up the pieces if we want to keep on living.” Luna reached out and took Ginny hand. Her red Gryffindor polish was starting to chip. “I know I do. Want to keep living.” 

Ginny edged forward on the sofa, and placed her head on Luna’s shoulder. “I want that too.” 

Luna kept hold of Ginny’s hand, while wrapping her arms around Ginny. When the fear and the violence of the Battle of Hogwarts crept back in, Ginny felt Luna’s strong embrace and remembered she was safe. 

The sun shone high above while Ginny sat on the stone steps. Bits of crumpled parchments surrounded her. She tried to write to her Mum. She had been out on the steps since after breakfast with Luna. Ginny tried to tell her she was safe but the words wouldn’t come out. None of the words that Ginny knew were enough to explain how she felt. 

“I feel like today’s answer is going to be different.” Luna was barefoot, her toes digging into the grass. “How are you?” 

“I’ll be okay.” said Ginny, rubbing her neck. “I’m ready. I’m ready to go back. There’s things I need to say” 

“Let’s go back home than.” 

“But it’s not your home, Luna.” 

“I know —” Luna took Ginny’s hand in her own. “ — but it is your home and that’s just as good for me.” 

Holding Luna’s hand in hers, Ginny left the Lovegood’s home. She walked past the tree with the forgotten bowl leaning against its trunk.. She walked down the hill and towards the Burrow. Ginny only stopped walking when she reached the slightly crooked house she called home

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to squee about Linny, HP femslash or otherwise Harry Potter, feel free to reach out to me at [@evening12](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/evening12) on Tumblr!


End file.
